


That Irrepressible Regurgitation Was Entirely Unpremeditated

by unavoidablekoishi



Category: Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity (Video Game), The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Gen, Ok no but hear me out i swear, and a burping competition, champion picnics, could do with another write up but im lazy just take it, good happy friend times, srsly stay with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27692218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unavoidablekoishi/pseuds/unavoidablekoishi
Summary: “Y’see, princess? Don’t need to worry about being so formal around us! Don’t sweat it.”It takes her a moment, but Zelda comes to realise that this is just Daruk’s way of making her feel better about her mistake. He could be really quite sweet sometimes! Even if his methods were a little unconventional (and didn’t smell great either).
Comments: 6
Kudos: 91





	That Irrepressible Regurgitation Was Entirely Unpremeditated

It slipped out purely by accident.

Zelda’s hand flies up to her mouth, as if desperately attempting to cram the accidental lapse of manners back in. Her eyes bulge, glimmering under the light of the midday sun above. 

There was an awful lot to learn on the journey to becoming a functional member of Hyrule’s royal family, and an extensive course on manners was an unavoidable part of it. From the day she could walk, she was taught how to walk properly. From the day she could talk, she was taught to speak properly. The upkeep of appearances was incredibly important for someone of such high status- it’s been such an integral part of her life that she can’t fathom functioning in any other way. The idea was entirely foreign to her, as was this unexpected moment. In fact, she can already feel the heat rushing to her cheeks. Never in her life had she allowed herself to commit such a blunder.

Burping in front of people was the height of rudeness, especially during a meal. That’s why, as she and the other Champions sit peacefully around an array of food, basking in the pleasant warmth of the sun, she finds herself absolutely mortified by her slip-up. Her mouth opens, but no words come out. As a princess, burping in front of someone was bad, but in front of those who were not only Champions, but people of high status, that was even worse. The princess of the Zora, the esteemed Gerudo Chief- she’s even embarrassed to see her own personal knight staring right at her with the most vacant eyes she’s ever seen. How horribly humiliating.

She stumbles to pardon herself, apologising for the indiscretion, but before she can even begin to trip over the first word, she’s interrupted by a laugh that sounds like smashing rocks. 

Daruk’s laughter is always hearty and full of life. It’s remarkably hard to hate such a good-natured guy like him, but Zelda can only feel her cheeks growing warm with shame- it felt uncomfortably hot. She doesn’t dare to look up and take in the other reactions around her. If she’s lucky, maybe they’ll forgive her and forget all about it.

“Hahah! I take it the food’s good then, your highness? It’ll do you good to eat a bit more, y’know!”

Zelda blinks. Daruk takes another gargantuan bite out of his sizzling rock roast, spreading flakes and crumbs around him and irritating Revali in the process. Well, he wasn’t wrong. The food  _ was  _ very good, but she’s not sure what to make of his response. He wasn’t exactly the teasing type, but she feels like he’s making a joke out of it somewhere. Her brows knit together, creasing her forehead.

“I… yes. Please forgive me, that was incredibly rude. I didn’t mean to--”

“Aw, what’re you worried about that for? Everyone does it! As far as I’m concerned, it means you like the food, and that’s good enough for me!” Daruk manages to gobble down the rest of the food in his hand, basking in the satisfaction of a pleasantly full stomach, “Makes you wonder, huh? Being a princess, all that royal stuff-- it must be pretty rough having to worry about appearances and manners all the time. I couldn’t do that.”

“I believe you’re mixing up strict royal conduct with socially acceptable behaviour, and I can’t possibly imagine why,” Revali snips, glancing with exasperation at Daruk out of the corner of his eye, “Is it not normal to keep your disgusting bodily functions to yourself where you come from?”

Zelda watches this exchange play out with worry in her eyes. Revali was right- it was considered quite rude by most standards, as she had been reminded time and time again. Of course, his standards would align quite closely with hers, being as reserved as he was.

Daruk laughs again, “Nope! C’mon, it’s a part of life! Why sit around and worry about it all? This ain’t some fancy dinner we’re at- it’s a picnic! Lighten up a little.”

Revali’s expression promptly turns sour, which is only intensified by Daruk holding up a finger, gesturing for him to wait. His stomach and throat seem to rumble like Death Mountain itself as he emits a burp so loud that several birds nesting in the trees nearby take off in an attempt to save their own lives. The force behind it is so powerful that Zelda can actually feel it from where she’s sitting. She has… no idea what to make of it. For the sake of her relations with the other Champions, she remains plain-faced.

Daruk breaks out into boisterous laughter again, as Revali squawks and scuttles away to sit somewhere else, “That’s absolutely foul! Ugh!”

“Y’see, princess? Don’t need to worry about being so formal around us! Don’t sweat it.”

It takes her a moment, but Zelda comes to realise that this is just Daruk’s way of making her feel better about her mistake. He could be really quite sweet sometimes! Even if his methods were a little unconventional (and didn’t smell great either).

She’s more surprised to see the others around her laughing, though. Urbosa, who she would’ve expected a patient roll of the eyes from, is lowly chuckling into her hand at how utterly appalled Revali looks. Mipha, who shares the same royal duties as she does, and who she would expect nothing but prim silence from, is allowing herself a tiny giggle. Even Link, who was emotionally solid as rock, was quaking in silent mirth. She can’t see his face, but by the intermittent shuddering of his shoulders, she can tell he’s finding it funny.

How… strange. Normally she’d be receiving stern glares and silent, strict lectures from across the table, but here, it was just… funny? Was it funny? She’ll admit, she’s not sure what’s trendy with the comedy crowd at the moment, but she’s definitely fascinated by this reaction. Perhaps it was just the budding researcher within her that desired to explore this more- or perhaps it was just her desire to be on the same wavelength as the people around her. Foreign as it might be, it’s enjoyable. She doesn’t laugh yet, though. She thinks she’ll see how this will play out before she makes her judgement.

“Honestly, in front of the princess?” Urbosa chides Daruk, but the smile on her lips saps the sincerity from her words. Daruk has the decency to look sheepish, but rightly responds with, “Hey, she started it!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to follow, you cretin.” Revali hisses, doing his best to keep as much distance from Daruk without leaving the conversation entirely (however, he’s also wary not to sit too close to Link, so he’s only managed to wedge himself between Urbosa and Mipha).

“I would not be surprised if you could scare the calamity away with a noise like that,” Mipha titters. Zelda finds Mipha to be a curious case here too. If anyone could understand her struggle to adapt to this situation, it would be her, yet she didn’t seem all too bothered by it. Surely, as a princess, they would have similar reputations to uphold. Perhaps looking after her younger brother had something to do with it- children weren’t exactly sticklers for manners, after all. 

“Well, if all else fails, I guess we have that to fall back on.”

“The noise is nothing-- if anything, it’ll be the stench that drives Ganon off.” Revali still looks very sour about the whole situation, not seeming to find it funny one tiny little bit. Guess he wasn’t one for crude humour.

“I’m sure you can do better than that, too,” Urbosa quirks a brow, “You’ve only had three rock roasts.”

“Ah, the lady knows me well,” Daruk nods, “but I’m surprised you haven’t tried to show me up yet! You’re not one to back down from a challenge, are you?”

“I didn’t realise that’s what this was. Hm. In that case…”

Zelda watches with wide, disbelieving eyes as Urbosa snatches up her glass and begins to drink. Sensing danger of disgusting proportions, Revali abandons his new seat and takes refuge on the other side of Zelda. Urbosa’s gulps are actually audible- Mipha remains where she’s sitting, but leans back slightly in anticipation of what’s to come. Surely, she wasn’t going to…?

Oh, she does. She  _ definitely  _ does, and it hits like a crack of lightning. Zelda is actually more shocked by the noise that comes out of her mouth than the actual action itself. Somehow, the rumbling within her is reminiscent of distant thunder, before striking out in a burp that almost sounds like firecrackers. How that was even possible is utterly beyond her.

“Oh. Pardon me.” Urbosa says, absolutely ineffectually. It’s definitely an impressive feat. It was nowhere near as long as Daruk’s, but it was definitely louder. To think Zelda had known this woman all her life- this was certainly a surprise. Did her mother know about this? It was almost scandalous.

“That wasn’t half bad! Always knew you had it in you!”

“And you can trust me when I say I don’t get to bust  _ that _ one out very often.”

Daruk squints at her, folding his arms, “It’s a tough choice. Might be too close to call.”

He was treating this like a competition! The two of them share a friendly laugh, leaving Zelda to watch them in utter confusion. Was this what went on outside of the castle? Then again, if Urbosa thought it was okay-- well, Urbosa had never steered her wrong before. Maybe just this once, it was acceptable. Definitely nothing to bring out in front of her father, though. He definitely wouldn’t approve.

Revali is sulking beside her, clearly feeling very excluded due to these gross turn of events. She finds herself about to comfort him with some words of empathy- after all, she can understand his concerns- but before she can say anything, she spots Link holding out a hand, suspended in a gesture. The other hand is clutching his own tankard, which he’s hurriedly drinking out of. Revali gapes.

“Oh, no, no, no! You are the appointed knight of the princess! Are you really going to lower yourself to such standards?! No, of course you would.”

And indeed he does. Zelda has had the opportunity of catching Link performing some strange and ridiculous feats at the behest of his fellow knights, who all seem to revel in the fact that Link would seemingly do anything he was told. Zelda can’t tell if that makes him a people pleaser or not, but the almighty burp that erupts from within the small Hylian is enough for her to suspect he may actually enjoy it.

It’s nothing like Daruk or Urbosa, but for such a tiny guy- and a Hylian too- it’s astoundingly impressive. Daruk bursts into applause at his display, and Link bows his head slightly to finish off his small performance. Mipha covers her mouth with her hand and shakes her head, but there’s some amusement to be found in the crease of her eyes.

“You haven’t changed a bit,” she says quietly, lips curled into a small, dainty smile.

“I honestly can’t believe this. And here I thought I was surrounded by the top warriors Hyrule has to offer, when in actuality, I’m merely being swarmed by imbeciles. I should’ve known better, I suppose.” Revali doesn’t hesitate for a second to voice his complaints, but at this point, it simply serves as more comic relief. 

“It’s definitely not like you to back down from a challenge either, Revali,” Daruk grins, “Aren’t you always itching to show everyone else up? Let’s see what you can do!”

“Absolutely not! I refuse to disgrace myself in such a manner.”

Urbosa’s smile tilts slightly, as she says, “You’re not very good at it, are you?”

“That is  _ not  _ the problem here!”

“Maybe he’s just the kind of guy that gets real sick when he does it. I know a few people like that. Gets a bit messy, let me tell you.”

“I do not! That’s totally untrue! Is it so hard to believe that I simply do not want to play your silly little game? It’s utterly beneath me.”

“You can’t do it at all, can you?”

Mipha’s voice is shockingly flat, but Zelda suspects she hadn’t meant for it to be so. Revali looks visibly taken aback by this sudden accusation, but Mipha seems entirely unfazed as she continues, “Perhaps the Rito don't have the capability to do so. Out of all of us, I think your anatomy must be the most different,” she nods softly, as if affirming her own theory, but her eyes flash slightly when she glances at Revali, “...unless I’m wrong?”

He folds his arms, brows pulled so far down that the way his eyes are slanted makes it impossible to see who he’s glaring at. However, at the lack of an immediate rebuttal, Zelda can only assume Mipha's theory holds some amount of water.

“My, I had no idea…” Zelda murmurs inoffensively, having vowed to study up a little on the finer details of the people of her land. Was this some kind of social faux pas for the Rito? Is that why Revali seemed so disgusted by it all?

“That’s...not…! Ugh. It’s not that we  _ can’t  _ do it. I’ve just… never done it myself-- and I don’t plan on starting now. It’s not happening.”

“What- never in your life? How’s that even possible? Everyone does it!”

“Well, not me. You can count on that.”

"You can't do it? At all?"

"Don't act like I'm the weird one here!"

“You’re awfully defensive.”

“Should I not be? You’re the ones acting like children!”

“Aw. Says the man having a pout in the corner,” Urbosa croons, flashing Revali an expression of insincere sympathy, to which he clicks his tongue and ignores. The exchange is swiftly cut through by Daruk, who laughs as he always does.

“Well, can’t complain- it’s not for everyone. Still, I think we got a pretty good laugh out of it. I’ll have to practice for next time,” he leans over to nudge Urbosa, who takes up her drink once more, though this time without the intention of impressing the others.

“As will I. I have a feeling I might beat you next time, though,” she taunts. 

“Ohoh, you reckon? I’m ready to put down money on myself, if I’m honest. Just give me a couple of rock roasts and I’ll blow you all out of the water--”

As he says this (and in a manner most shockingly relevant) he’s interrupted by a noise so indescribably loud that, for a moment, Zelda fears the calamity has awakened. It’s like her ears are being assaulted by a crashing tidal wave, a tsunami, and she swears the ground beneath her was trembling slightly. Urbosa nearly drops her glass, having to hurriedly flick her drink in the direction of the grass to prevent the liquid from splattering all over Zelda. What even was that?

“Oh. I do sincerely beg your pardon. Please forgive me if I startled you.”

“What the--  _ Mipha?!  _ What in the world was  _ that?! _ ”

Mipha covers her lips with a dainty little hand, expelling a small breath as she does so, “That does feel a bit better. I apologise-- I had not taken my go yet. I hope you do not mind.”

Revali looks utterly betrayed by this action, having clearly thought Mipha was the only one left he could rely on. Instead, he gets up and begins to stalk away, shaking his head and muttering complaints under his breath. However, for the first time, Zelda finds herself giggling childishly to herself. Perhaps now she’s starting to understand the appeal of it all.

“Alright, I take that back. My rupees are on her,” Daruk points at the tiny Zora sitting opposite him. Urbosa and Link can only nod in agreement, still scrambling for a way to describe the noise they’d just heard. Mipha politely sits there, looking proud. The way she goes back to eating her meal like it had never happened is just plain comical.

Zelda’s not quite sure what her actions have led to here, but she thinks she could get used to it.

**Author's Note:**

> dorephan: thats my girl


End file.
